Bagel Bites: Let's jam.

Internet ephemera from the tennis world and beyond. Have something you want to include? Join the Discord or hmu on Bluesky.

• I'm back from a wonderful family vacation in Paris, which I'll probably blog about more at a later time. I got back just in time to stream a live-react to the women's Wimbledon semifinals – that was really fun and thanks to everyone who tuned in on Twitch! – and woooooow Amanda and Iga for different reasons! Can't wait for Saturday. It'll be a feel-good result either way – and again, for different reasons.
• The Body Serve boys had me on their podcast and they posted the first half of the interview. I had a really fun time. I also loved their most recent episode on their first trip to Wimbledon. Support the Boys! (The Body Serve)
• Ok so I gotta get this off my chest: Leave Poland alone. (NY Times)
• First off, Iga didn't invent the strawberry, pasta, and yogurt thing (see above). She (and the nation of Poland) is not a "weirdo" nor are her tastebuds broken. If you break down, philosophically, what is going on in this dish – carb, fruit, cream – it completely makes sense. So actually, YOU'RE THE WEIRD ONE, JUDGEY JUDY. Second off, a lot of people screaming bloody murder that anyone would use pasta in a non-traditional, non-Italian way, are the same people who swear by the delicious delight of a California Roll. You don't see Asian people screaming bloody murder at the thought of paella do you? Chill the eff out! Let people eat!

• On a completely unrelated related note: A few years ago, I was at a very fancy Chinese restaurant in Manhattan with an international group of tennis journalists. As everyone was reviewing the menu, one Brit at the table exclaimed "Tripe??? Who in the world would want to eat TRIPE?!!?!" To which I responded, "Literally over a billion people."
• With Wimbledon's strawberries and towels on everyone's mind the last week, my mind wandered to my late friend Tom Perrotta, tennis journalist extraordinaire for The Wall Street Journal, who died of a brain tumor in 2021. Tom always had a knack for finding delightful angles, and two of my favorite stories he wrote were about those special strawberries from Kent and the ever-coveted towels. (WSJ)
• ****BRIAN PHILLIPS WRITING ABOUT TENNIS KLAXON**** (The Ringer):

I find it easier to identify with an athlete who knows irritation and anxiety are self-defeating qualities, and therefore tries to stop herself from feeling them, and therefore gets even more irritated and anxious when she can’t block them out. In my perfect dream of life I’m a Haliburton, but on an average Tuesday afternoon, when I have 10 emails to answer and work due on deadline and I forgot to eat lunch and my dogs are barking at squirrels, I’m a Sabalenka all the way.

• To no-one's surprise, 59-year-old billionaire hedge-fund owner Bill Ackman's – air quotes incoming – "professional tennis" debut via a doubles wild card at an ATP Challenger event got the treatment it deserved. Andy Roddick, who sits on committees for the International Tennis Hall of Fame, minced no words on Served:

• And here's more from Giri Nathan at Defector (h/t Discord Carrie): Bill Ackman Gets To Play Pretend in Sanctioned Tennis Farce
• Dan Wolken at USA Today: Billionaire Playing in ATP Tournament Makes Mockery of Pro Tennis
• The New York Times was actually there.
• And CNN rounded up the critical vibe. But hey, any publicity is good publicity right? RIGHT?

• And continuing on the topic of making a mockery: It's absurd that as of now, Katerina Siniakova will not be competing for the US Open mixed doubles title. (The Independent via Yahoo)
• Mark Petchey has been great for Emma Raducanu but he's unlikely to be a full-time fix. (The Telegraph via Yahoo)

• Carole Bouchard with a nice interview with Wim Fissette. (Tennis Sweet Spot - Subscription only)
• From David Shaftel on Andrey the Giant. (The Second Serve h/t Discord Harlan)
• Emma Navarro goes glam. (Tatler)
• Nodding Hill, nice. (Yahoo)
• Hilarious: Ben tracked down the Novak finger lady. (Bounces - Subscription only)
• Well damn:

• Broooooooo mistakes happen, but how are you going to still blame HUMAN ERROR when you replaced all the humans. (BBC h/t Discord Jonathan)
• This tragic story has haunted me all morning. Horrifying in every way. (ESPN)
• Watch out: Sally Jenkins is on a mission. (WaPo via MSN)

• One win away from an all-time shot call. (Reddit)
• For those who are spiritual, metaphysically, philosophically still in the clay season, here are all of Roland Garros' tournament posters. (Garros Gallery)
• Did you guys know I'm a jammer? We have quite a few fruit trees at the house so I got real into making jam during the pandemic. We just did a whole batch of apricot jam before we left and if you have access to lots of apricots, might I suggest saving the pits and making some delicious homemade creme de noyaux? If you smash open the apricot pit, you'll reveal the noyaux, an almond-like pit that you can use to infuse liqueur. I did it last year and steeped them in an Armenian brandy and the results have been wonderful. Here's a recipe. (Reddit)
• I'll be back later today once the men's final is set to do a whole Championship Weekend preview/think piece/takes dump. Thanks for everyone who subscribed while I was out! Y'all are gems and it's much appreciated.

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