Bagel Bites: Serena! You're lying!
Don't try me.
Internet ephemera from the tennis world and beyond. Have something you want to include? Join the Discord – we have a really nice and active community growing there – or hmu on Bluesky.
- Previously on the Bagel: Time flies when you're having fun.
- Serena Williams is channeling some fierce Tina Turner in this feature for Net-A-Porter, where she talks about body image. (Net-A-Porter)
- On that note, on the heels of an outstanding season, here's a nice profile on Sonay Kartal. (Telegraph via Yahoo!)
“There is no right way to look or right size you have to be,” says Kartal, who follows her own path. Since introducing herself to British tennis fans with her run to the third round of last year’s Wimbledon, her height, tattoos and oversized T-shirts have redefined expectations around the sport.
“You talk about clothing, but also about body types as well,” she explains when asked about her unique style. “Things are changing now, there are so many different players on the tour, they’re taller, they’re smaller, everyone has got different physiques, carrying more muscle, less muscle. I think it’s becoming more diverse on the tour with clothing as well, which I think is a good thing. I think people should be themselves on the court; you shouldn’t try and follow the stereotype.”
- HOWEVER: Serena Jameka Williams it brings me no pleasure to do this but YOU ARE A LIAR FOR THIS ABJECT LIE:
“I’m just never late. I’m so embarrassed. I’m always [punctual] because I’m a tennis player. If we’re late, we’re disqualified.”
- GURL. You were late. To interviews. A LOT. Primary source: Me. Corroborating source: LITERALLY EVERY OTHER TENNIS REPORTER lol.
- Speaking of Serena... [SHRUG EMOJI]. (AP via Yahoo!)
- It ain't even gotta be deep, I guess: Drake really should just stop going after Californians, it's just L after L after L. (NY Post via Yahoo!)
- Sportico has released its annual list of the highest-earning women athletes and no surprise: 10 of the Top 15 are tennis players, led by Coco Gauff at the top slot. Four of the Top 5 are tennis players, with Coco, Aryna, Iga and Qinwen all cracking the 20M mark. Our wee Coco raked in $31M. YOU GO, GLEN COCO.
- Marketa Vondrousova was tested outside of her one-hour whereabouts window and she was not happy about it. It's worth noting though that according to this WADA whereabouts pamphlet – it's dated 2021 but it's what's posted on the WADA website – athletes can be tested anywhere at anytime. The one-hour window is just a window where the athlete guarantees they will be available. It's undoubtedly invasive and I can't imagine having to be ready to pee at any given moment, but the reason a tester can show up anytime is so a doping athlete can't "plan around" their testing window.
- Taylor Fritz got slapped across the face in Japan and you know what I am happy for him. (Reddit)
- In 2025, Emma Raducanu finally found stability. (The Guardian)
- Lindsay Davenport will remain USA Captain through 2027. Good! (AP via Yahoo!)
- At some point, don't all the non-retirements just make this sport seem a wee bit unserious? (AP via Yahoo!)
- Interesting little fact I learned in this Katie Boulter piece: The Australian Open entry list deadlines for the ATP and WTA are different. The WTA is six weeks out, the ATP is taken 8-9 weeks out based on the official year-end ranking. (BBC)
- Hope Jack Draper will be fit enough to start his season on time. He had to pull out of this weekend's UTS exhibition as he's still rehabbing his shoulder injury. (BBC)
- I am obsessed with NCAA Champion and suer Reese Brantmeier's studies: double major in Exercise Science and Studio Art, with a minor in Global Cinema. That's awesome. (The Athletic via Yahoo!)
- ITF Chief Executive Ross Hutchins says he plans to sit down with the top players to see what Davis Cup can do to get them commit. At least that's an acknowledgement that the event needs further tweaking. (BBC)
- On that topic, Rafael Nadal said in a Spanish interview (sorry, don't know when the interview was) that (1) let's not pretend that the old Davis Cup system was perfect, because it was also impossible, but (2) he would like to see a Davis Cup champion crowned every two years, with the off-year used for Davis Cup qualifiers. Honestly, sounds pretty reasonable! Under the Rafa plan, you would have two qualifying ties in Year 1, and a qualifying round and the final in Year 2. That brings the commitment down from 3 annual ties to 2. I think? (Reddit)
- Reported by Marisa Kabas at The Handbasket: To comply with an executive order issued by the current administration, the USTA has quietly changed its rules to ban trans women from competing in sex-specific USTA leagues, tournaments and events. It is a truly infuriating read. (Substack)
"The directive to change USTA policy came from the US Olympic & Paralympic Committee (USOPC) and the International Olympic Committee (IOC), both of which changed their guidelines in response to Trump. “Failure to comply with this directive risks the USTA’s status as the National Governing Body (‘NGB’) for the sport of tennis in the United States,” the new USTA policy states. The definitions used by the USOPC and the IOC were taken directly from a different Trump executive order—14168, “Defending Women from Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government”—using it to define terms like sex, women/woman, girls/girl and female."
- Well gosh thank GOD 61-year-old trans woman Valerie has played her last USTA league match. I'M SO SORRY she was destroying the sport like a sleeper agent. THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL THE FEMINISTS OUT THERE. WAY TO NOT AT ALL BE MANIPULATED TO GO AFTER THE MOST VULNERABLE WOMEN YOU ARE REALLY GREAT WOMEN YOU MUST FEEL SO GREAT.
sucky swimmer sucks
- I'm not really fan of any of this that is happening and I'm sorry for linking to it. (BBC)
"The court will be modified after organisers Evolve said that data shows female players move about 9% slower on average than their male counterparts.
"Sabalenka's side of the court will therefore be made smaller by 9%, while each player will only receive one serve per point."
- Now, as ever, TEAM IVANOVIC. (Daily Mail)
- Uhhh this absolutely blows my mind: Dan Kaplan reports that WTA staff compensation is higher than ATP staff compensation, which....I....what??? Happy that Micky Lawler got that bag tho! (Substack)
- Spike Lee (!!) was asked by Italian journalists (lol) why he was backing Carlos Alcaraz over Jannik Sinner in the Roland Garros final. (Reddit)
- Always read Brian Phillips, even if he's writing about something YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY GOD THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE AND INTOLERABLE. (The Ringer)\
"New York fired (sorry, “parted ways” with) Nuzzi after news of the affair became public, and as more details have emerged over the past year, the scope of the scandal has widened to encompass political corruption, journalistic malpractice, lizards, Dante’s Divine Comedy, Malibu, $15,000 worth of Cartier jewelry, shocking press releases, surprise investigations, naked presidential candidates (more than one), Kennedy assassinations (more than one), and also Keith Olbermann for some reason. Let’s join hands—not you, Mr. Health Secretary, you keep your hands to yourself—and go forth to examine a tale that both encapsulates this dystopian moment in our politics and epitomizes the many, many ways America can make you say, “What the fuck, oh no” in 2025. We’ve still got it, baby."
- I have always been proud to be Gen X, at least as proud as a Gen Xer can possibly even be hard-wired to be. So this was a fun watch on my generation, featuring a whole bunch of my heroes and heroines – OMG THEY GOT JENNY SHIMIZU – and it was comforting to see the ethos that remains unwavering in me mirrored back. (NY Times Style Magazine)
GIVE PTA HIS OSCAR YOU GODDAMN ANIMALS
