Monday Bagel: Fighting!

Internet ephemera from the tennis world and beyond. Have something you want to include? Join the Discord  – we have a really nice and active community growing there – or hmu on Bluesky.

Here's what you need to know from the weekend that was:

The WTA minted two new teenage champions in Guadalajara (WTA 500) and Sao Paolo (WTA 250). But before we dive into that, I'm just going to get something off my chest:

The US Open happens, it sucks up all the air in the room – right fully so! – as the bombastic finish of the Grand Slam season, and everyone – INCLUDING PEOPLE WHO SHOULD KNOW FLIPPIN' BETTER – start cracking all the jokes and making the snide asides implying or outwardly just saying that the tennis season is over and anything that happens after New York is a floppy appendage.

The number of points 17-year-old American Iva Jovic won when she took her maiden title in Guadalajara on Sunday is the same number of points Jelena Ostapenko won when she drove off the stage with her new Porsche in Stuttgart. The number of points that Iga Swiatek could win this next week in Seoul or whoever wins in Tokyo is the same number of points Aryna Sabalenka won in Brisbane in January or Jessica Pegula won in Charleston.

The winner of the China Open (WTA 1000) will win $1.1 million, which is roughly the same as Indian Wells, Miami, Madrid, Rome, etc. Did you see the crowds in Sao Paolo going crazy all week? I dare you go there and tell them no one cares. Or, I dare you to tell THIS KID too:

• As for storylines, THEY CONTINUE. I'm not going to speak on the ATP because ATP Outsider, but let's just run through some of the stuff that happened last fall on the WTA while America and Europe was sleeping: Zheng Qinwen blowing up any and all previous conceptions of what a Chinese tennis superstar can do, Coco Damn Gauff putting aside her US Open disappointments, hiring a new coach, and going 14-1 for the rest of the year to win Beijing and the WTA Finals and, side note, hitting 19 DFs to Aryna Sabalenka in the Wuhan semifinals and not being mad about it because she still nearly beat Aryna and whoop well we saw what happened at the WTA Finals (semifinals) and French Open (final), and Aryna Sabalenka three-peating in Wuhan despite the markedly slower conditions. And that's just the top-line marquee stuff. So you should stay locked in not just because you're a fan but because HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING GLOAT AND SAY I TOLD YOU SO when some end of season result totally foreshadows what happens at the Australian Open AND YOU WERE THERE.

And this stuff DOES matter. For the players, this is an incredibly ripe time to clean up some big prize money checks and collect huge bundles of points that will sit on your ranking through a majority of the next season, meaning your ranking is pretty darn safe for a majority of the year – see e.g, No.9 Zheng Qinwen (Beijing SF, Wuhan F, Tokyo Champ, WTA Finals F) and No.3 Coco Gauff (Beijing Champ, Wuhan SF, WTA Finals Champ), who has an over 2,500 point differential ranking between her WTA Ranking and her Race Ranking. She's No.3 on both leaderboards so calm down. I'm just pointing out the math. Locking in during September and October pays off massively.

Look, there are many legitimate reasons you're not going to lock in for the last two months of the season. It happens way outside of your timezone. Fair! It's the start of American football season and baseball playoffs. Also fair! After three interminable weeks of New York tennis, you need to check out of all this for your sanity and to be fresh for January. GURL I GET YOU.

And so this gets to a bit of a broader cultural point that I clang the pans about all the time. Just because YOU aren't into something does not mean IT does not have value. YOU are just not into it. OTHER PEOPLE may feel differently. YOU do not have to be weird about it. The opposite is also true. Just because you ARE into something does not mean it HAS value. You just like it! That's fine! Not everyone has to!

Trust me! I know this! I LOVE THE NOW YOU SEE ME FRANCHISE UNIRONICALLY! I ALSO NEVER RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE BECAUSE I KNOW IT IS NOT ACTUALLY GOOD! WHAT WE FEEL CAN BE DIFFERENT FROM WHAT WE KNOW! WE CAN JUST SHUT UP AND LIVE OUR LIVES AND LET OTHER PEOPLE LIVE THEIRS! IT'S FUCKING FINE.

I remember years ago, I was doing a story about Japanese and Chinese WTA players and how different their lives on tour might be compared to their American and European counterparts. Aside from the disparate travel burden (players have to fly further and be home less) one thing that was raised that I hadn't ever thought of was food. The players I spoke to said they were so happy to play in Asia because for 90% of the season, they have to eat pasta all the time or mediocre sushi. So for a few weeks, they're so happy to just not have to think about food. They can just go down the street and eat something familiar. It's a similar thing when I speak to Aussies during the AO Swing, how they love it so much because for one month they can just watch tennis in their time zone.

That really softened me on a lot of things, I'm embarrassed to say. I'm Asian American and even I didn't really ever stop to think about how different tour life might be for the Asian players. That of course extends outwards, to Asian tennis fans, Asian events. And once you take those blinders off, everything that was in your blocked peripheral vision is now so clear.

Asian tennis fans are no less enthusiastic, passionate, committed, or knowledgeable. They are as steeped in the lore and the memes as anyone. We're already seeing that this week in Seoul and we'll see it even more as the tour winds through China, Japan and Hong Kong. Do not "other" these events and do not "other" these fans.

Ok, ranting done. Let's do that bagel:

• Previously on The Bagel: Platinum Blonde Life

• It was a wild week in Guadalajara and Sao Paolo, but when the dust settled, well, I'm not sure anyone's brackets predicted these dubs. America's Iva Jovic, 17, took the title in Guadalajara by defeating the always rizzed-out Emiliana Arango in the final, and France's Tiantsoa Rakotomanga Rajaonah, 19, stopped Indonesia's Janice Tjen to win in Brazil. Jovic is the youngest WTA champion this season. (WTA)
• That pair of results gave us this fantastic stat:

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• For those keeping track at home, that would be Mirra Andreeva (Dubai, Indian Wells), Maya Joint (Rabat, Eastbourne), Victoria Mboko (Montreal, and our weekend's winners. Pretty damn impressive.
• The men were no short of drama – in fact, they probably take the title on this one – because Davis Cup was WHACK. Where do we even begin?!?!
  • The Czechs came into Delray Beach, complained about the rain, and then proceeded to knock out Team USA 3-2. Despite the Americans fielding two Top 10ers in Taylor Fritz and Frances Tiafoe, all three of the Czech points were secured with singles wins! What? Yes, did I stutter? Jiri Lehecka was the hero, beating Fritz and Tiafoe, and Mensik sealed the deal with a 6-1, 6-4 win over Tiafoe in the fifth rubber. All this after Austin Krajicek and Rajeev Ram put the home squad in a winning position by beating Machac/Mensik 7-6(5), 5-7, 6-4. (Davis Cup)
  • That's one Grand Slam nation out, but how about another? No.2 seeds Australia lost 3-2 to the Belgians! The Belgians? YES THE BELGIANS! Seriously, is this mic on? The shocker in this one was delivered by Raphael Collignon. Rafael Collignon? YES, RAPHAEL COLLIGNON. I've never heard of him! WELL NEITHER HAD ANYONE ELSE until he single-handedly turned the tie on its head by beating Alex De Minaur 7-5, 3-6, 6-3 in the opening rubber. Oh and did I mention this was played IN Australia? Belgium came out of Day with a 2-0 lead and then sealed the win when Collignon beat Aleksandar Vukic in the deciding fifth rubber 6-7(5), 6-2, 6-3. That's bonkers, though to be fair, the better beer-nation won. Chapeau. (Davis Cup)
  • Spain returns to the Davis Cup Finals after coming back from 0-2 and saving match point on a Holger Rune-led Danish squad, 3-2. Pedro Martinez did that match-point saving against Rune in the fourth rubber and the Dane was pretty miffed about how it all went down. (Ekstra Bladet)
• There was also a pretty seismic result in the qualifier ties, where Joao Fonseca helped put Brazil into next year's Davis Cup qualifiers, by stunning Stefanos Tsitispas and Team Greece. Oh, also Coleman Wong went 3-0 to put Hong Kong through over Uzbekistan and earna spot in the World Group I Playoffs. Asian Excellence!
• So here are your Final Eight for Malaga: [1] Italy, [4] Germany, [8] Croatia, [9] Spain, [10] Czechia, [13] Belgium, [14] Argentina, Austria.
• OMG Carlos is totally gonna play now huh.

• So what's going on this week and how do you watch it? The ladies are in Seoul (WTA 500) and the BJK Finals in Shenzhen, the boys have a bunch of ATP events as well as Laver Cup. Tennis Watchers has you covered. (Tennis Watchers via Substack)
• Qualified: Taylor and Katerina, The Italians, and Dabrowski/Routliffe are the first three teams to qualify for the WTA Finals. (WTA)
• I am SO ANGRY that they did not put the "R" on the left foot and the "ON" on the right. In protest, I shall NOT be purchasing. (SI.com)
• As they previously teased, Serena and Venus are launching a podcast called "Stockton Street". It will air every other Wednesday, but here's the catch (if you consider it one): it will be distributed on Twitter. (ESPN)
• Hyeon Chung sighting at Davis Cup! (TennisAsia on Twitter)

• Everyone should watch be watching Hacks. Hannah Einbinder's 24 hours has convinced that ok fine, I'll re-up my HBO subscription just so I can get caught up on the last season of Hacks. It also reminds me that I don't think I told anyone that when I was Paris over the summer I unknowingly stood RIGHT NEXT TO PAUL W. DOWNS and only my sister realized it happened. (Vogue)
• I neeeeeeeed this bag. (yuzawaya_hobby on Twitter)
• The Golden State Valkyries are doing an amazing thing. An absolute Slam Dunk of an expansion sports team:

• But:

Despite Chase Center selling out each game, a local television deal, sponsorships from the likes of Sephora and Waymo and jerseys selling like mad, the players struggle to make a living wage by Bay Area standards.

Ms. Burton’s base salary, before any incentives, is $78,831 this season — which, as an annual salary, would qualify as low-income in San Francisco — and some of her teammates earn even less.

“This is what it’s been, unfortunately,” Ms. Burton said, noting that the players’ union is fighting for a better contract to replace its current agreement, which expires Oct. 31.

The union argues that women should earn the same percentage of their league’s revenue as the men do from theirs. Recent analyses have put the women’s share around 9 percent, while the men receive 50 percent. At the W.N.B.A. All-Star Game this summer, players wore shirts that said, “Pay Us What You Owe Us,” and numerous Valkyries fans wear T-shirts or wave signs with a similar sentiment.

“I’m optimistic,” Ms. Burton said.

Mr. Lacob declined to say much about players’ salaries during contract negotiations, saying he could be fined $500,000 by the league for doing so. But he did say the W.N.B.A. has long struggled to make a profit and that the Valkyries have provided a road map for how women’s teams can succeed financially. Five more expansion teams are slated to start playing in the next five years.

“They’re going to do a lot better,” he vowed of his players’ salaries. “They deserve to.”

• AHHHH WAIT FOR ME JAPAN. (NY Times - Gift Link)
• AHHHH WAIT FOR ME PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON. (NY Times - Gift Link)
• A good reminder to get back into ONE PIECE. (Aftermath)

One Piece may wear the visage of a goofy pirate adventure for kids, but beneath the slapstick and camaraderie lies a sprawling, serialized rebellion against injustice. It’s a series where found family becomes a lifeline, where fans can see themselves reflected in its queer revolutionary heroes who laugh in the face of tyranny, punch fascists in the face, and shoot down the flags of oppressors with unflinching resolve.

• Say this about Pablo Torre: He is finding out A LOT OF THINGS! Asian Excellence!

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• H/t Discord Readingwith1GA: Here is all I have to say about the p-word (Instagram):

• H/t Discord Peter: The iPhone Air is a scam! (Sadmethod on Twitter)

• Life update: I made the very stupid decision of putting Stardew Valley on my iPad and playing with a controller and friends, I'm just not sleeping. I should have known better. I know what it does to me on Switch. AND YET.