Petit Choux: Grand Theft Auto

Internet ephemera from the tennis world and beyond. Have something you want to include? Join the Discord  – we have a really nice and active community growing there – or hmu on Bluesky.

If you’re reading this on email for the first few times, just know that the embeds render better if you click through to the post.

Roland Garros 2026: Order of Play | Draws | Live Scores

• Previously on the Bagel: Things got existential.
• The Roland Chaos quarterfinals are set:

Matteo Berretini vs. Matteo Arnaldi
[4] Felix Auger Aliassime vs. [10] Flavio Cobolli

[26] Jakub Mensik vs. [28] Joao Fonseca
[27] Rafael Jodar vs. [2] Alexander Zverev

[1] Aryna Sabalenka vs. [25] Diana Shnaider
[22] Anna Kalinskaya vs. Maja Chwalinska

[7] Elina Svitolina vs. [15] Marta Kostyuk
[8] Mirra Andreeva vs. [18] Sorana Cirstea

• So. Where to begin in a busy news day that also happened to have A LOT OF TENNIS.
• Aryna Sabalenka and Naomi Osaka put on a clinic in first-strike tennis in the apparently very coveted Roland Chaos presented by Amazon Prime France night session match. I turned on the stream to see Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, Lucas Pouille, and Marion Bartoli all on the Amazon Prime panel, which amused me because yes, I would absolutely love to hear Tsonga’s take on women’s tennis. For the first time in two weeks, I was actually happy to not understand a word of French.
• The whole panel picked Sabalenka to win the match, and they were all correct. If Aryna goes on to win her first Roland Garros title, we’ll look back to this match as the one where she locked in and rediscovered the form that ran her through the Sunshine Double in the spring. It was by far the best clay match she’s played this season and a massive step up from her first-week wins.

• We know that Naomi and Aryna can go toe-to-toe on serve and baseline power, but this match made clear just how many more tools Aryna has on this surface compared to Naomi. At least as of now. The two have now played three times this season, and Osaka has closed the gap with each match, most notably taking Aryna to three sets in Madrid.

Sabalenka powers past Osaka in first women’s night match at French Open since 2023

Aryna Sabalenka beat Naomi Osaka 7-5, 6-3 to reach the quarter-finals and afterwards the world No 1 said: ‘It’s really important they put the match as a night session’

The GuardianTumaini Carayol

• Count Naomi Osaka as a card-carrying member of the “Its Just Tennis” crew:

I don't know if you knew me before, but, I would be very, very disappointed in myself after matches like these, but I kind of realized that it doesn't matter at all.

Like, I have played her multiple times, and I have, sadly to say, lost multiple times, but the only thing I can keep doing is keep trying my best. Maybe hopefully it will work out in my favor one day, but I can't let myself be discouraged every time I lose to someone or win against someone, because honestly, hitting a ball doesn't really matter on earth, kind of.

• Had this match been played in the extreme heat of the first week, I think this would have been a much closer 50-50 prediction. But in mild night conditions, Aryna got juuuust that much more time on the ball to unleash some very intelligently aggressive baseline play. Osaka’s flatter game-style was, as anticipated, too one-note, and she was locked into a all-or-nothing direct style that Sabalenka was able to unwind with her safer spin. The two went power for power for just under 90 minutes, but ultimately, Sabalenka’s ability to absorb and pounce on anything neutral did the trick.
• Barstool Debate: Who is the bigger favorite now to win the title: Aryna or Zverev?

• Reader, I do not really know how to describe what Matteo Arnaldi did to Frances Tiafoe over the course of five and a half hours on Court Suzanne Lenglen. But it was definitely criminal. (ATP)

The 25-year-old prevailed 7-6(5), 6-7(5), 3-6, 7-6(3), 6-4 in five hours and 26 minutes. The Italian trailed 1-4 — down two breaks — in the fourth set and twice stood two points from defeat when Tiafoe served at 5-4, 30/0 and later at 40/40.

• The defense Arnaldi played in the final two sets was unbelievable. This was larceny at its messy finest. This was the gun battle in HEAT. This was the diamond heist in OUT OF SIGHT. This was the cute little Minis racing around Venice in THE ITALIAN JOB.

• Arnaldi called it the best match of his life, which…I WOULD CERTAINLY THINK SO because if that is what you’re always doing then why are you ranked No. 104, SIR.
• I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone repeatedly steal points the way Arnaldi did tonight. Tiafoe would have him running from corner to corner, and it felt like every desperate no-look stab would find the baseline to restart points. Honestly, credit to Frances for not rage-quitting, because lord knows he had every right to snap. Instead, he buckled down and made one final push down the stretch. But it wasn’t enough to stop the power of pizza, pasta, and stracciatella – both in cheese and gelato forms.

• And with that, at around 1am on Tuesday morning, there were no more Americans for Roland Chaos to toy with. Earlier in the day, Madison Keys ended the American women’s hopes after losing to Diana Shnaider in three sets – a bagel in the third??? And earlier than that, Zachary Svajda put in a valliant effort to take Flavio Cobolli to four sets.

• Closing out the Italian Trio formerly known as Jannik Sinner and the Three – there’s an Il Divo joke to be made somewhere here – Matteo Berretini got revenge on Sinner’s ouster, Juan Manuel Cerundolo, in straight sets. He’s into a Slam quarterfinal for the first time since 2022, which is pretty sweet for a guy who didn’t think he could come back from his string of devastating injuries. (ATP)
• Also he took off his shirt and this happened:

• Before the tournament, Felix Auger-Aliassime was asked if he felt like the No.4 seed here. Some might argue that he was asked in a bit of a rude or disrespectful way, but FAA stood up for himself and now here we are.

• And back over to the women’s draw, the Cinderella run continues for Maja Chwalinska, who is through to her first Slam quarterfinal after beating Diane Parry in straight sets. That’s seven wins for the Pole in Paris, having come through qualifying. She is set to make her Top 100 debut and the live rankings currently put her inside the Top 50. This is career-changing money and ranking points for Chwalinska. Pretty damn cool.

French Open 2026 results: Qualifier Maja Chwalinska into Roland Garros quarter-finals

Polish qualifier Maja Chwalinska continues her dream French Open debut by beating French player Diane Parry to reach the quarter-finals.

BBC SportHarry Poole

Chwalinska took a break from tennis during 2021, amid a struggle with depression, and did not know whether she would return to the sport.

Now, she could become only the second qualifier in the Open era to reach the Roland Garros women's semi-finals, after Nadia Podoroska in 2020.

The Best Thing I Saw at Roland Garros Today: Maja Chwalinska takes artful path into the quarterfinals | Tennis.com

“I know that I’m playing different tennis, than most of the girls on tour.”

Tennis.comSteve Tignor

“It’s definitely a big surprise for me,” Chwalinska says of her run. Coming to Paris, she was ranked 114th, and had to qualify for the main draw.

Her success has been so much of a surprise, in fact, that she has “struggled to pay for the hotel” she’s staying in in Paris.

“You guys know we get the check after the tournament.”

• Now, onto the news.
• Yes, the worst-kept secret in tennis has been confirmed by the worst keeper of secrets: Serena Williams will return to competition next week to play doubles with Victoria Mboko at the WTA 500 at Queen’s (London). That’s right, in about seven days, we’re going to see the GOAT on a tennis court. (The Guardian)

Serena Williams to return to tennis at Queen’s Club

Serena Williams will return to competitive tennis for the first time in nearly four years when she plays in the women’s doubles at Queen’s.

BBC SportPaul Battison and Russell Fuller

• I keep getting asked what I think about this, and my honest answer is: I don’t know yet. So I’m going to sit with that for a few days.
  • Ben Rothenberg has been working that beat for months now. (Bounces)
  • Jon Wertheim spoke to Serena’s former hitting partner Sascha Bajin for his thoughts on the news. (SI.com)
  • I was expecting a full message of love and support, so I was surprised – and relieved, because someone has to say it – that he said this:

My only fear for her is how all these greats are: They’re always going to believe in themselves. That’s why they are so great. They believe they’re great before they are great. 


I remember when Serena came back in 2011. She had that accident; she didn’t play for a full year. Her first match back was in Eastbourne, actually. On the surface [grass], the most comfortable for her.
She was 15 years younger, something like that. And the recovery from that first match? She took an ice bath in Eastbourne! I know Serena hates ice baths, and she took hers because she was that sore. 


So I cannot imagine after giving birth to two kids [and coming back]. Father Time is undefeated, as far as recovery goes. So I just really hope that she’s physically in good shape, that she has her people around her, that she is healthy.

• Dan Wolken asks: Why? (Yahoo)

To be clear, that’s not meant as a criticism. Given all she’s done for the game, Serena can do whatever she wants. If she think it’s worth a try, go right ahead. Every tournament on the calendar would love to give her a wild card and welcome her back.

And no matter the results, seeing her again on a tennis court will be a jolt for the sport this summer. It will, at the very least, be interesting to see what level she can compete at four years after — and we should be honest about this — an ending that was far from an embarrassment but exposed her physical decline against younger and fitter opponents.

So … why?

Did the first-round loss to Harmony Tan in her final Wimbledon leave such a bad a taste that she hasn’t gotten over it? Does she want her oldest daughter Alexis, now 8 years old, to remember watching her play? Is she aiming to play doubles with Venus? After losing more than 30 pounds and becoming a spokesperson for a GLP-1 drug, does she think she has a chance to do more damage now than a few years ago?

Or is she just bored?

It’s all fascinating.

• The Athletic has an explainer on Serena’s comeback.

• This is a great piece on the WTA’s fertility program, featuring Magda Linette, Sloane Stephens, Desirae Krawczyz and Giuliana Olmos. (NY Times)

Ms. Linette returned to Poland in October for her egg retrieval.

Along with the anxieties any woman might have — the discomfort, a fear of needles — she agonized over whether the medications she was taking would skew her mandatory drug testing. Tennis players can be punished if they test positive for something prohibited by the sport’s antidoping policy, even if they didn’t intend to take the banned substance. The people at her fertility clinic weren’t familiar with tennis’s antidoping procedures, increasing the chance for a mistake.

“Without these supplements, I can’t go through with the procedure,” Ms. Linette said. “I possibly can never get pregnant. So it’s such a massive dilemma.”

• Get to know Matteo Arnaldi and his fiancee, who both seem very sweet. The piece explains a lot: that man has been playing as if he’s got some bills to pay soon. (ATP)

“I’ve been lucky because from the start, she was able to travel a little bit with me,” Arnaldi told ATPTour.com earlier this year. “She was finishing university in Australia. We were from two different countries, very far away from each other, so we had to move in together pretty quickly.”

At the start, Arnaldi admitted it was not always easy. Arnaldi and Savio led different lives and came from different cultures. But they have only grown closer over the years, and are getting married following this year’s US Open.

“When you are committed to something, when you really care about the other person, you want to make it work,” Arnaldi said. “Things lead to other things, and then this year there is the marriage, the wedding. It's something special that we have been planning. More [work] for her, not much for me!”

• More on Arnaldi, the marathon man. (ATP)

The French Open Is Testing the Popularity Limits of Men’s Tennis

French Open upsets have given Roland Garros and the rest of men’s tennis a chance to measure its popularity when stars like Sinner and Alcaraz are out.

Sportico.comEben Novy-Williams

• Strong breakdown of the Sabalenka-Osaka match by Todd Spiker. (WTA Backspin)

Meta legal action forces Facebook whistleblower to sit in silence at Hay festival

Sarah Wynn-Williams did not speak during event after lawyers warned of possible sanctions from tech firm

The GuardianEmma Loffhagen

• Bop of the Day: This is the opening song of THE ITALIAN JOB and I am not ashamed to say I loved it then, I still rock with it now, and yes that is Pennsatucky.